the internet

This post is a complete fabrication. No portion of this post is true. It is intended in best of humour.

What if you were the sysadmin? And you were asked to explain why the internet was so slow. Here are some responses …
Response 1

Since we have a wireless connection, the actual throughput depends on the weather.

Response 2

Since we have a wireless connection, mobile phone signals interfere with it. So, if everyone was to stop using mobile phones we would get better speeds.

Response 3

We have implemented a dynamic load balancing algorithm at the proxy server. Any IP that is not using the internet gets priority. We are going to publish this in a reputed journal. And then you all can kiss our asses.

Response 4

Its not the problem with our internet connection. Its just that the particular site that you want to open is being DOS’d at that time

Response 5

Its the ISP

Response 6

We are running a warez / pr0n site. We are going to be floating in $$$$. So long jackasses.

Response 7

Read BOFH. Your life is way better than that.

Response 8

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA

Response 9
Because we also like to use the internet. At full speed

Response 10

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA
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PS – If anyone has a smart ass comment please do comment

PS1 – This post was inspired by siddarth ravi M

PS2 – I have not studied for a day.

PS3 – If someone can implement Ranta’s idea it’d rock.