A [dash] of Hot Chics

Thank you for calling Indigo. We will DEAL with you shortly. -Indigo Call center

I am sure some of you have very wild imaginations. Some of you may even have weird-bordering-on-disgusting imaginations. So, before you make any perverse assumptions based on the title of this post let’s get one thing perfectly clear. This is not an erotic post. Neither does it contain lewd descriptions of Hot Chics, myself or any one else for that matter. It has NOTHING to do with chickens or any animal species either [for those of you with a history of animal abuse - aka VV Harish Baba].

**********DISCLAIMER*************

No hot chics were harmed in the writing of this post. If you are a hot chic reading this post [yaay - hot chics reading this post] please send me an email telling me what you think as well as your phone number (for technical reasons). [it doesn't hurt to try].  In general, this post was not meant to hurt any one’s sensibilities, feelings or the other such stuff. My apologies in advance if it does.

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This post is actually about English – collective nouns for that matter …

What would the collective noun for a <dash> of hot chics be? (In brackets – the actual usage of the collective noun).

A ton of hot chics: A ton – that sounds like a measure of weight. (Ex: A ton of crap)

A bunch of hot chics: Chics aren’t like apples (is it a bunch of apples?). (Ex: A bunch of crap)

A gaggle of hot chics: Chics aren’t geese (it IS a gaggle of geese).

A set of hot chics: Chics are not a mathematical (container??). (Ex: A set of numbers)

An array of hot chics: Chics are not a programatical construct either. (Ex: An array of char*)

An earful of hot chics: I guess a lot of hot chics would be an earful – but doesn’t quite fit does it … There is an earful of IpoD users.

A team of hot chics: If hot chics are teaming up against you then you my friend are screwed. (Ex: A team of cattle)

A swarm of hot chics: If on the other hand hot chics are swarming up to you, better yet, swarming up against you then you my friend are screwed (in the better sense of the word). (Ex: A swarm of ants)

A colony of hot chics: It is rumoured that this exists. [See seinfeld for the source of this rumour]. Possible locations of this colony do NOT include: IIIT Hyderabad, Microsoft India. (Ex: A colony of beavers)

A flock of hot chics: The only thing I can imagine hot chics flocking to are concerts given by pop stars or football players like David Beckham or the (c)hunky actors like [Yeah, if you're straight you won't know the names of many hunky actors either]. (Ex: A flock of birds)

A nuisance of hot chics: It is rumoured that guys who have a lot of hot chics following them find the hot chics a nuisance. [The author sadly has no experience so cannot comment on this personally]. (Ex: A nuisance of cats)

A cartload of hot chics: I can just about imagine this. A hawker in the street. 10 ke saath ek free … 10 ke saath ek free. (Ex: A cartload of chimpanzees)

A mob of hot chis: One mob I’d like to be a part of. No matter what the cause of protest. (Ex: A mob of emus)

A school of hot chics: Darn It. If only I knew this existed. I’d have studied here … (Ex: A school of fish)

A parcel  of hot chics: The ideal birthday present? (Ex: A parcel of hogs). Yeah, I’m not making any comparisons

A parliament of hot chics: This can actually happen. If all the women do not vote. And in all elections there are two candidates. One is a lookalike of Aish, the other of Laloo. What self-respecting straight guy would vote for laloo? (Ex: A parliament of owls)

I’m getting tired of CTRL+TAB right now (I’ve got a page that lists collective nouns in the other tab). Anyway, the reason for this post is that I’m home and well, there are a <dash> of hot chics over here. Not here as in my home here as in Delhi. [This is not to say that Hyd does not have hot chics. It's just that I haven't found a lot of them. YET.]

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PS: Reached home safely – yeah there were floods

PS1: stupid ass terrorists

PS2: ManU won finally

PS3: Dog is looking thin to me

PS4: What do you say to all the chaps going out to the US for higher studies? Get screwed.

PS5: This is the end

PS6: Yeah. Seriously. That was the end.

PS7: Blog people blog: This means you – tipo, manish, vasan, halley, baba, mythalez etc etc etc

A regular?? weekend at Hyderabad

Scotch on the rocks – it’s better than vodka. -CeG <oBelIX>

6 hours cold pizza can be microwaved and then its as good as new. -CeG <oBelIX>

This post describes the mundane and routine that is your life after you leave college. You are liable to get seriously bored. However, If you do read through till the end there are a couple of funny pictures …

NOTE: This post is in no way reflects an actual weekend …

Friday Night:

Another weekend coming up. BORING. With absolutely nothing to do. Stayed in office till late … very late – was playing oblivion again. Wondered again, what xbox 360 title to buy – or just wait till assasin’s creed comes out.

Saturday:

With Bhagwan Mess (for the uninitiated – this is where we used to eat breakfast) closed, had no option but to skip breakfast. (It’s 4PM On sunday now, so I don’t even remember whether I did wake up for breakfast or not). Anyway, after a little bit of pondering, figured out what all I need to get done this weekend:

1. Washing clothes
2. Get my Nokia 6270 Serviced
3. Get my blanket etc.. dry cleaned
4. Wish booshi Happy Birthday

Postponed all this to tomorrow i.e. today – and popped over to work. Started playing Oblivion … killed Umbra, got her sword. It’s about 11:30 in the morning when the combined effects of the lack of breakfast and the extreme physical labour involved in moving the mouse to play oblivion make me realize that I better get some food. Evaluated my options:

1. Eat in cafeteria – Will take minimum of 1 hr (they don’t open till 12:30) and I run the risk of there being junk food
2. Eat at subway – Naah, bored of subway
3. Goto Rajasthani mess – this one was chucked out as soon as I realized the “goto”

It was then I had the brainwave – Let’s order Pizza – Get two pizza’s on the offer, take care of both lunch and dinner at one stroke. After all, whats the point of microwave ovens. So, I call up …

Dominos Guy: Thank you for calling up Dominos. Would you like to go for our special <10 second pause> Free coke with <10 second pause> medium pizza

CeG <oBelIX>: No, I have a coupon – 220 for 2 pizzas, I want a farmhouse and a double cheese margherita.

Dominos Guy: Yes Sir. However, we have a special offer, Free coke with <Bulbs> <Dimag ki batti jalti hai> medium pizza

CeG <oBelIX>: No, thanks.

Dominos Guy: Are you sure, sir?

[Now, as anyone who knows me would know, It takes a lot to get on my nerves. This guy however, was pissing me off more than the 8th season of "That 70's show". After all, I got like infinite amounts of free coke at office - I don't really give a **** to what stupid offer he has]

CeG <oBelIX>: <very slowly>Could I have one medium farmhouse and one double cheese margherita.

Dominos Guy: Certainly sir. Please tell your name and phone number

[Usually when I call up these chaps, I use either Vishnu or Monga's name. ]

CeG <oBelIX>: Yeah, My name is ………. … and my

Dominos Guy: Could you repeat that please?

[I go "Crap"]

CeG <oBelIX>: <very slowly> ……… …

Dominos Guy: I’m sorry sir, once more

[What's he got to be sorry about ... ]

CeG <oBelIX>: . . . . . . . . / . . .

Dominos Guy: Could I have your address please?

CeG <oBelIX>: Microsoft, Gachibowli, Hyderabad … Do you want the pincode as well?

Dominos Guy: Thank you. Your order will take approximately 45 minutes to 1 hour.

[45 minutes - WHAT THE *#(*. I'm like 200 meters ....]

Anyway, after the said 45 minutes, the pizza does arrive. So, I’m sitting, watching some WLIIA, eating pizza and sipping coke. At that point I’m like, okay, life cant get better than this.

The rest of the day was nothing great. Saw some juniors fruitfully utilizing their internship time. Played 3-4 hrs of pool. On the way out, in the parking lot, I saw something that made me stop, go rofl, take out the cellphone camera and click:

 Sunday

I wake up, take a look at the clock. EIGHT AM. Promptly go back to sleep. Wake up again. 10:30 AM. Wake up. The paperwallah managed to put paper today.

Decide, lets tackle that list. Number 1: Wash clothes. So, I washed clothes. BTW – we have this videocon washing machine. If I have already ranted and raved about it I’m sorry but I can’t help it. Washing machines rock. Really they do. I’m never washing clothes ever again.

Number 2: Get Nokia repaired. Too painful I say. We’ll do it later. Number 3: Dry clean blanket etc. Too painful. We’ll do it later. Number 4: Wish booshi happy birthday. Happy birthday booshi. There, done.

Figured out what to do today – Eat lunch. Goto Central. Watch a movie. Buy a jacket.

Ate lunch at hyd house. Always decent – biryani. Went to central. Now, people had warned me that tickets are in short supply. I thought, chal ke dekte hain. At PVR there were like no tickets for like anything. I hadn’t expected to get tickets for “Chak de”, but I’d thought ki kam se kam Transformers yaan Rush Hour yaan even Budda mar gaya. No tickets.

Inside Central is another story. It’s like the rest of Hyderabad has picked today to do their stupid ass shopping. There is like no place to move around. After having stepped on umpteen toes, and said “Excuse Me”, “Sorry” like pumpteen times I’m finally at the place where they have the jackets. Given the huge variety of clothing at Central you’d expect to see a lot of jackets. But sadly, there were like 10 of them.

[Oh and I just remembered, Komar had asked me to get something from Central. Crap!!].

After all the roaming around – I’m like – let’s go back, play some pool + oblivion and then sleep. Hopefully the week would be better. I reach back at work – its raining like crazy – drenched. Read vasan + baba blogs. Realize a long time since I made a few people waste like 10 minutes of their lives. Hence this post.

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PS: There are no funny pictures. I lied. So Sue Me.

PS1: This is the end.

PS2: Shame isn’t it. A year ago, I would have written a much more entertaining post with 20 PS’s in the blink of an eye.

PS3: Yeah, this took nearly 10 minutes to write