10H – From Secbad to Kondapur

Its better to be on the footboard than to be squashed in the middle of an overcroweded bus. -CeG <oBelIX>

**DISCLAIMER**

To the very nice gentleman on the bus who sat next to me. I’m really sorry for this all. If you ever find this please look at it with the same spirit with which I wrote it.

**end of disclaimer**

The relative success of the last mobile blogging fiasco merits it another shot. Besides I am rather bored right now anyway and have nothing better to do.

This journey does not begin with me bitching about forgetting to get a book. I’ve never actually read anything on a bus before. Anyway, by some curious co-incidence I was at Secbad station, after having comeback from Delhi. I took the 10H option, drops me nearly next to my house.

The gentleman on the bus next to me seemed like any ordinary guy. The following conversation ensues (the actual conversation was in both English and Hindi):

Me: Does this bus go to Kondapur? (Knowing full well that it goes to Kondapur)

Gentleman (GM): Yes.

GM notices that I am carrying a blanket and a backpack. Incorrectly concludes that I just hopped off a train from someplace

GM:  Where are you coming from?

Now, I have this most irritating habit. Sometimes, with total strangers on a bus / train / plane / auto I will pretend to be some totally random guy. Do not ask why. I pretend to be a bengali …

Me: Kalkatte se.

Me realizing what a dumbass statement that was. No self respecting bengali would say Kolkota with a Punjabi + Dehatti accent

GM: Oh, <some arbit train name> Express se aaye hoge.

Me realizing WTBF. I have no clue about trains from Calcutta. Why do I end up getting the incessant-know-it-all-memorized-all-train-schedules guy

Me: Make some inaudible comment muttering assent. I was actually  at my friend’s house.

GM: To aap kaam karte hain yaan studies?

Me: Kaam. I work at Infosys.

Yeah baby. A nice confident reply that cannot come and bite me in the ass

GM: Ooh. I am in charge of the bakery. Jo aap ke cafeteria main abhi recently khuli hai.

Feel like mouthing what Gautam Gambhir said to Afridi.

Me: Actually I just recently joined.

GM: Looks at me weirdly. Aapne bakery to dekhi hogi

Me: Umm…

Phone Rings

Phone: Hello, My name is Archana. I am calling from Citibank. Would you be interested in a personal loan?

Me (to phone): Haan, mummy, theek thaak pahunch gaya (Yes mommy. I have reached okay).

Me (to GM): Excuse me please. Phone call from the house.

Phone: Hello!! Excuse me Sir!! My name is Archana from Citibank. Personal Loan.

Okay. Need to establish a long enough pause so that GM wont feel like continuing the conversation.

Me: Haan mama. Pahunch gaya hoon. Dinner le liya hai.

Phone: **click**.

The gentleman has now started reading some story book with his headphones on. I breathe a sigh of relief and wonder when did I start sucking so bad at this.

The bus has now reached the flyover after the one in front of the airport. The flyover is jammed to the core. When will they fix the miserable traffic on this road.

Varun motors is offering unbeatable loan finance rates. From all banks. Nice looking place.

Crossed the flyover of jams. Finally. I think this fellow is going to take a right into Ameerpet now.

The gentleman to my right (yeah not the original gentleman) is now reading everything I type on this phone. Yes. Gentleman next to Me. I am writing about you. Stop reading what I type. Hello. Stop. Ruko. Nakko karo bhai. Okay, guess he does not understand English.

I am getting bored with this. Will open facebook, update status, ping some people and get back to this.

Krishna Nagar. The original Gentleman just got off. I tried offering a Center Fresh (filched from the plane) but he just looked at me with an expression that said “weird”.

Finally. Madhapur.

Kothaguda now. BKR Dental Hospital. Haha. I am going to take a photo of that someday.

Hey, new bakery. Offering chat et al. Must try that.

Okay time to get off.

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PS – Home rocks

PS1 – Yes it does

PS2 – It really does

PS3 – Say it once more.

PS4 – Just once more – home – food – awesome

6E306 – From Hyderabad to Delhi

**DISCLAIMER**

This post was composed on a Nokia 6270 Mobile Phone. It has been copied verbatim. The spelling and grammar are deplorable. Please bear with it.

**End of Disclaimer**

Let us try mobile blogging. I am writing this from 35000 feet above sea level. I am using the phone’s T9 editor.

I am doing this because of my memory. Despite reminding myself umpteen times I have forgotten one of the most important things needed for an air journey – a book. Hence, I write, not so much to write but more to pass the time.

The lady just announced that they will be selling sandwiches for 100 bucks. And not even decent sized ones; these sandwiches are pidda, one mouthful morsels of food. Who in their right mind – especially people who are going to get home food after two hours would buy these?

Battery Low. MY mobile whines. 3 hours of GPRS on a half charged battery and its complaining.

The air hostesses seem to be a rather varied set of vagabonds. Or possibly they were vagabond-ish and have now chosen stewardessing. “Bulging Biceps” comes over. She asks if I want to buy something. Her eyes silently say – “buy something or i’ll pound your puny ass you little runt”. With my heart in my mouth, expecting a pounding not much unlike Neeraj/Mahesh giving bumps I say “No”.

PP. Pretty Parul is serving the rows in front. Just my luck. I get the WWF champion and those jerks up front get the Next miss India. Look at them ogling. Is there no justice?

Arora is totally immersed in his movie on his zen. He is on the window seat. I am on the aisle. There is a lady of gigantic proportions in the middle. [Yes, I am safe. She is napping and cannot read what I type].

The guy at the aisle seat, front and across has got his laptop out. He is watching a movie. I think it is basic instinct. Needless to say, I will keep a close eye on what unfurls there. *wink*

There are some Israeli gentlemen across. Well, they are from the middle east I guess. They seem to be engrossed in their hebrew crossword book. Nerds.

Bulging Biceps again. Giving water. Gigantic proportions near me takes a bottle. They mutter Thank Yous. !Phew!. A close shave. That had the potential to develop into an long, annoying, serious conversation.

Basic instinct guy has switched over to prison break now. Lagta hai saale ko sharam aa gayi.

There is a typical punjabi family sitting behind me. They seem to be

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And at this point the battery ran out and my phone died.

PS1 – Next up – a full review of saawariya

PS2 – Home. Rocks

PS3 – I wish I had one. [Get the pun?]

Wii – I wish I had one of these as well. [Okay, now I am being so unsubtle]