Archive for June, 2008

ASR – ASR simply Rocks

June 23, 2008

was on a plane, reading “The Namesake” by Jhumpa Lahiri when I got the idea for this post. There is very little co-relation between what follows and “The Namesake”. “The Namesake” however is a pretty decent book, well worth a read. Anyway, onwards. This post describes the many names of Sriram. In case you do not know who Sriram is please read through the rest of my blog. Anyway …

  • ASR – This vernacular is used by many when calling for HH’s (His Holiness) attention. In hindi this goes as ए Sriram.
  • BSR – This is what Mommies tell their children when they are growing up, teachers tell their students in class, all over the world, every kid hears: “Be Sriram
  • CSR – Every felicity, during the Mr. and Mrs. Competition, everyone will get up on their chairs, turn around, point and say: “See Sriram
  • DSR – This is what SMS has done to the definitive form of reference to HH. “The Sriram” got shortened to “D Sriram
  • ESR – Whenever Sriram does something yucky (and this happens quite often) we all say “Eeeeeeeeeeee(w) Sriram
  • FSR – No one has yet had the balls or a reason to use the **** word with the name of Sriram following it. [Anyone who tries this will be pounded into very small pulp by yours truly*]

*Conditions Apply

  • GSR – Used like: “Golly, gee Sriram, thats brilliant”.
  • JSR – “Jai Sriram“. Har bande kaa naara hai [For Why: refer here]
  • KSR – The new soap planned by Ekta Kapoor on the life and times of ASR. Tentatively titled “Kahani Sriram Ke Saas Ki Jo Kabhi Bahu Thi“. The plot of this thing is another post all together.
  • LSR – “Lady Sriram“, this is how anyone and everyone who knows ASR will refer to his wife.
  • MSR – “Microsoft Sriram??” Okay, I don’t have anything with MSR – let’s see you come up with something better
  • OSR – Whenever Sriram would walk by, every girl would point, giggle and say “Oooooh Sriram“, then flap their hands, scream in ecstasy and faint with excitement.
  • PSR – Okay, cheap humour – I wonder who has ever said “P Sriram:)
  • QSR – This was uttered by Arun Balakrishnan when he heard that he and Sriram were doing the BTP together. “Kyun? Sriram Kyun?” he had wailed knowing that ASR’s laziness would completely destroy all the hard work that he would do
  • RSR – “Ram. SriRam“. This is how Sriram introduces himself to arch-villians and generally not-so-good men while he is in the service of the Queen of England as a MI6 agent with a license to kill.
  • USR – “You!! Sriram“. Wake up. was something that was heard every compilers class.
  • YSR – “Why Sriram?“. This is what Tipo would say. After spending months woo-ing girls, Sriram would come and effortlessly take them away. [Notice the rhyme people]. Now that TIpo has *friends* in the US he thinks he is safe and secure from Sriram’s woo-ing powers. This is something that would be closely debated on the ug2k3 mailing list over the next few days.
  • ZSR – This is a new religious channel to be launched by Zee Telefilms. Completely unrelated to ASR.

You might have noticed that some of the letters are not filled in. Post your entries for ?SR in the comments.

Toodles.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned …

June 16, 2008

[DISCLAIMER: If you think this post is like the posts on this blog then please go get a MRI and ask them to examine your hypothalamus]

Now, I’m not exactly very religiousitistically inclined, however, countless American movies have educated me on the whole concept of Sin, Forgiveness etc etc. I think there are seven sins in all. (Atleast there was a movie which had Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow [I like her] titled seven about seven sines). Also, there is a concept of going and asking for forgiveness.

I don’t really remember all the sins. The basic concept there though is that one is supposed to enjoy while sinning. The two sins that I do know of (booze and sex) both seem to have EHSTEQs [extremely high short term enjoyment quotients.]

Now on to the confession. This weekend I was at home. I did something terrible. It was rather painful. It lasted for more than 45 minutes. The guilt of doing it lasted much longer. During the entire time I was expressionless but felt shocked to the very core. I went out of the house in a slight drizzle for it. I even paid for it. !! Lucky Gift for whoever guesses what it was !!

Sarkar-Raj

I haven’t seen Ram Gopal Verma Ki Aag. I’ve heard it sucks but then I haven’t seen Sholay either so had I gone and seen it I wouldn’t have necessarily said it sucks having had no original to base a comparison with. [Yes, I can hear the obelix-bashers rubbing their hands at glee, just itching for the comments page to load so that they can make pitiful jokes at my lack of exposure to HIndi classics] (Another lucky gift to anyone who can spot the pun there). Now, this Sarkar Raj is a pretty good effort. The first half keeps you at the edge of your seat (Literally, the auntie behind me was poking my seat with her sandles). I have absolutely no complaints. The second half though sucks so much that you wish the pain you are experiencing is caused by the auntie-behind-you-poking-with-sandles rather than the totally predictable plot twists of the movie. Plus, the plot is rather hollow. Its as easy a target to take down as is Shamanth in counter strike. The other bit of advice I have for RGV is:

If you’re going to cast Aishwarya Rai,

please don’t make her so much cry,

For this movie, I paid hard-earned cash

if you do it again, your head i will smash

And fellow readers, please be aware of PVR’s online booking system. It sucks. I booked my tickets, got the cash deducted from my card and then did not get a booking number. At the cinema, the manager said, “Sir, your money was deducted. But no tickets were given. I’m sorry. We will try to refund in 24 hours. Why don’t you buy new tickets for today’s show?” Whatever happened to customer service you ****head. In office, when we’re sitting and designing stuff, it’s all about the customer. Why can’t I ever get the same when I’m the customer?

Toodle-doo. No PS’s this time as I am bored.

PS: Find a smelly dog and give him a bath, do your good deed for the day :)