the mad cow
by oBelIX
so, I’ve heard there’s a big market for children’s books. gullible parents will buy absolutely anything. I’d just like my share of the pie. so, people reading this post, introducing my first ever children’s story, “the mad cow”.
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Belching Bessie was not enjoying herself particularly. The grass tasted like cud. The moon felt wonky. The shady tree in the middle of the field seemed to have gone bananas. Oh, she’d had her doubts about that tree the first time she’d seen it. The tree did have an air of “weird” about it.
In the barn Haddock Horsie was planning to take a nap. There was a cool night breeze blowing through his stall. He recalled fondly the days when he and Bessie used to walk the fields talking about this and that. Bessie had changed, he thought to himself. She spends too much of her time obsessing about the tree in the middle of the field.
Rambunctious Robin eyed the mad cow warily. Her death-ray-gaze at her tree in the middle of the field was now a cause for concern. She often wondered about whether her madness could be cured with a song. “Well, now’s never a bad time for a song”, she thought to herself. Whipping out her unicycle she began to sing that Elvis Presley hit, “tweet tweet chirp chirp”
An offkey note broke Horsie’s reverie. It sounded like a hippopotamus imitating a dog’s bark. “That damn Robin, he’d be riling up Bessie again”. He jumped out of his stall and cantered off towards the field, barely pausing to put on his roller-blades under his pink trousers.
Bessie tolerated, with great restraint, the first three verses of the-shady-tree-in-the-middle-of-the-field’s singing. The start of the fourth verse sent a cataclysm of rage through her. “Mooooooooo”, she went, and charged.
Robin heard a low guttaral sound. She went inside and saw the kids watching “Birdwatch” on the television.
The wheel snapped off. Horsie cursed as his jaw hit the grass.
Bessie pulled out her portable nuclear missile launcher.
Kabloooooooooom!
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PS: Yes, I love the internet. It lets you put stuff like this online.
PPS: Yes, I do apologize for adding more junk to the internet. Once again.
PPPS: There will be some people who do not get this. Sucks to be you.
PPPPS: After re-reading this, I realize that I might need a better illustrator. Please send your resume’s should you like to join me in minting some money 
my blog 
How high were you when you wrote this?
And dude, awesome illustrations! Those things made the post 😀 You should have such MS Paint illustrations for all your posts.
u and your wild imagination.
@Kunal, i was sober.
reminds me of rushdie’s ‘Haroun and the sea of stories’
holy randomness, batman.
also, [the rest of this comment has been censored. ceg.obelix]
you missed Africa and North America 😀
damn you monga. this is the second time i’ve ever had to censor a comment.
don’t you get the whole point of a children’s story?
Censorship is the tool of those who have the need to hide actualities from themselves and others. Their fear is only their inability to face what is real. Somewhere in their upbringing they were shielded against the total facts of our experience. They were only taught to look one way when many ways exist.
Also, when was the first time?
I jus saw the pics .. awesome 🙂
you had to get ‘mooo’ into the post .. didn’t you!
This will definitely inspire lot of children, they will finally gain confidence in their writing after realizing they can write much better stories and paint better drawings :).
@Aziz: +1
this was hilarious! especially the shoes under the pink trousers!
I don’t know if there was deep underlying story that I missed but I liked it!
Hello Obelix,
My name is Catherine Meyers, I’m the webmaster of a games site and high web traffic blog directory, I’ve been checking your blog and I find it very interesting, so I thought you could be interested in a link exchange, (no money involved), with my sites, this might help increase the visits to your blog and get nice comments and feedback. Let me know if you are interested to send you the links to my sites.
Kind Regards,
Cathy