about a beverage

by oBelIX

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce:

abc

“vodka+-“ pronounced as it is spelt, an earthy brown liquid, potent and guaranteed to leave you flat.

the few kind folks who follow this blog may recall a previous attempt at combining the best of my more liked drinks. I look upon that as a minor setback now. This post is part 2, the one where we talk about a new drink being set upon this world

the motivation

The motivation behind these series of experiments is twofold:

  1. Combining two drinks I like into one super-mega-awesome drink
  2. Reducing the nastiness of vodka so that those drinkers of beer and other such wishy-washy things can try it

the preparation

After the last episode, I took a step back and thought long and hard. I contemplated in zen like meditation focusing on the aspects that had caused the previous attempt to fail. More spice was needed to create the perfect aroma. Inspired by masala chai I set out to do exactly that.

  1. Take 100g of coffee beans
  2. Roast slowly
  3. Add cinnamon, sugar and vanilla
  4. Continue roasting till it smells good
  5. Partially crush coffee beans – do not make into powder
  6. Put coffee beans in an airtight container
  7. Add 400mL of vodka
  8. Seal container
  9. Leave to stand for 48 hours
  10. Strain

the concoction

Vodka+- has a calming, earthly hue. A colour that hides its true nature, that masks the beast within.

It smells of coffee. Very strongly so. I couldn’t find a trace of the other spices (unlike masala chai where cinnamon etc add to the aroma). There is also a slight smell of the vodka hanging around.

the ingestion

I shall make no claims of my drinking abilities. I know people who can outdrink me and over the years I’ve learnt not to compare. However, I can say with confidence that I can handle a couple of shots of vodka.

I stood in the kitchen, a shot glass filled with vodka+- in hand, faintly aware that I was creating history. I chanted the name of most gods I knew in a silent prayer (thankfully, I’m not a devout Hindu or this could have taken a while). I downed the shot.

I was still standing after that. My gullet was on fire. Every muscle in my gut was working overtime to prevent me from spewing vodka+- right back out. My breath smelt of espresso.

shot number 2

Engineering discipline required me to take another shot. I could not base my judgement of vodka+- on one single shot. So, down the hatch went another. I could say that the second one went down easier but then I’d be lying on the internet.

I paced around the apartment for a bit. So far, apart from all the disgusting sensations in the stomach nothing had really happened. For a little bit I thought that the vodka was faulty.

then it hit me.

rather hard.

like the proverbial anvil falling on top of wylie coyote’s head.

it took two shots to knock me out for 11 hours straight.

the verdict

vodka+- is undrinkable.

vodka+- will get you high. very high. very fast. very very fast. with minimum fuss. and with very little of it.

if you’d like to try it – I have a few shots left. drop me an email and come by. make sure you bring your balls along – you will need them – and I offer to drive you back home.

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PS: Thank you for the image my friend on the internet. I make no money off it – if I do ever I shall donate it to charity.

PPS: Yes, other posts are in the works.

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