my blog

Category: CS

CS and football

What if CS clans played football?? It’d be like this …

Hello and welcome, to the first round football match between the cows and the dont trust anyones. Myself, A. Sriram will be your commentator for this extravagant feast of dashing devilish and dastardly brilliant soccer. On the left, the Cows (who eat grass) playing with the uniform with udders on it. On the right is DTA led by Austin 3:16 who has come in only *SHOCKED* his underwear to the match. Oh !! Wait !! Sorry !! That’s what he wears while wrestling.

The cows will start with Butcher taking the kick-off along with Matrix. the man with the menhir is standing at defense ready to pulverize any DTA with that menhir of his. true_shot is keeping goal. CeG seem to have found an excellent goal keeper there, he has definately got half the goal well covered. DTA have started out in a standard formation, Goldberg playing with Player on the left, Austin 3:16 in the center, looking to smash the brains out of cyclothymia. Zaknaf3in seems to be in a floating position, more like a flying goalie. Streak‘s position is yet unclear.

Butcher kicks off, passes to cyclothymia. The ball is interepted by player and he is running towards the CeG goal. No !! Wait !! He is tackled by obelix whose brilliant foot movements have left player confounded. obelix passes to butcher. butcher butchered by Austin 3:16. they are carrying him off on a stretcher now. Austin 3:16 passes to goldberg but matrix pulls out some matrix style moves and kicks the shit out of goldberg.

matrix with the ball now, going to the DTA goal. Zaknaf3in tackles, and matrix knocks the shit out of him too. HOLD IT !!!. Guess who beats the shit out of matrix. Yeah, its player. so for the second time player with the ball. Oh Crap!!!. COLLISION!!! player collides with cyclothymia. both have been knocked out unconcious. three people running to the ball now. Austin 3:16, goldberg and obelix. WOW!!!. Thats the first time I have seen a three way scuffle. Punches are being traded. There are some serious swear words being uttered. Oh My God !!! The shouting is immense. Hey, just a sec. That’s anony shouting from the benches. Someone get him out of there.

Back to the action now. All I can see is that goldberg and obelix have been knocked out and obelix’s menhir is in the air. Austin 3:16 is doing his victory dance. He is beating his chest. He has just killed off two people (one of his own team) and seems to be in a pretty jolly mood. **CRUNCH**. that was Austin 3:16’s skull being mashed by obelix’s falling menhir.

And now, Streak is here. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Please put your hands together for Streak. Streak charging towards the CeG Goal. Oye Oye, butcher has respawned. How did that happen?? “Abe oo, Einstein, this guy is flouting physics baap. Stop him.”. while I was conversing with Einstein Streak tackled butcher and he is now heading straight for the goal. Only true_shot between Streak and the goal. Steak shoots. Brilliant shot. Going straight to the goal from the half-line. Unbeliavable accuracy. Hey, gyani_tharwani call the bookies. Tell them to put a 100 grand on DTA, now. NOW Goddammit. The ball’s almost in. Hurry up.

HOLD THE PHONE. true_shot is moving. oh my god … he is aliveeee. The ball has hit his stomach. Its going back to the DTA Goal.

gyani_tharwani: I placed the bet Sriram.
No!! No !! No!!. Somebody, Stop it. Somebody, Anybody …

Please …

Please .

.

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PS – GRE class tomorrow. Will I go or not??PS1 – Its golgappas not golagappas

PS2 – Yaar’s name is not Yaar, its Yar. (i am refering to Pradeep Y / Austin 3:16 / Ranker)

PS3 – Try giving a BTP viva with a severe stomach ache. It really helps in keeping v. v. calm.

PS4 – I wrote the PS’s before the post. How friggun weird is that.

PS5 – If I dont have an idea for the next post then I will post on squompched.

PS6 – No hard feelings anyone … please …

The definitive guide to CS – The Who’s who

DISCLAIMER
This post has been written by a member of [CeG]. Therefore it may be biased towards / against [CeG]. In no way do my views reflect the views of [CeG]. [CeG] is in no way liable for any content on this blog. (Of course you can sue titans / slayers / dta or anyone else )
The Who’s Who of CS
Written By: The CS Reporter
CS is a religion in IIIT. However, we do not have any kind of history of CS. After all we’d all like to be remembered as something right?? So, my first attempt at chronicling the history of cs in IIIT.
CeG Butcher : This guy was / is the god of CS. He and Slipstream were one of a kind. This guy has class, elegance. He used to go around winning matches on his own. A little out of touch now, he is not in the kind of form like he used to be (or others are better). He is still dangerous with both the maverick and the friggin AWP. Will also be remembered for taking an SMG shot at icss> playboi.CeG - Matrix | xirtam : The mastermind of CeG tactics. One of the initial few who started using bombs. He single handedly screwed TiTaNs in the CeG v TiTaNs final in May last year. Very dangerous with most guns.

CeG - true_shot : One of the more defensive players in CS. Plays reasonably with AK. Right now, the only CeG in form in clan matches.

CeG – cyclothymia | rexisgod | Jim Morrison : The CeG scout. The most dangerous player with clarion. Usually found at A-Center in de_dust2 / house in de_inferno. Be very afraid when approaching.

CeG – oBelIX | the man with the menhir : The guy who dies first / is used as bait. Played bloody darn well against CSI, went from a score of 0/3 to 26/5. (that’s me by the way)

DTA – Austin 3:16 – Yaar. He used to snipe damn well a while back. Nowadays plays with the AK and Mav. I think that he is the tactician for DTA (not sure abt that).

DTA – Goldberg – One of the most ardent gamers around. He is usually the guy who carries the bomb. Excellent at finishing a match (i.e. winning it 1v2 or 1v1). Against DTA it ain’t over as long as this guy is alive.

DTA – Zaknafin – This guy is reaching god-like play with pistols. Just the other day, there was me and yaar at Center in inferno and he takes two headshots with a friggin deagle and wins the match. He is like a one man army, easily capable of taking out two or more.

DTA – Player – He does for DTA what matrix does for CeG. Basically, the guy who makes sure everything goes ok.

DTA – streak – The absolute god of the maverick. Seriously, this guy is the best with that gun. Do not take him 1 v 1. It wont be good for your health. Deadly at points like B tunnel exit in dust2 where you can spray and kill four. Well known for multi kills.

Slayers – munnabhai | lol – IMHO, the best sniper around. Very dangerous with pistols as well. Very dangerous with the AK. Very dangerous with the maverick. Ok, this guy in short is one of the best cs players around.

Slayers – haha | arthur | (komarneni) – This guy WILL kill you with a deagle. Unless you are sniping in which case you stand a better chance. All he will do is hit you on the head with the deagle and bam you are dead as a Chinese chicken being saute’d for Manchurian.

Slayers – Cool – Haven’t played him much except in pool, so cant say much.

Slayers – Black | 1fkedupbitch – One of the most team players around. He plays a real team game. Deadly with AK, I remember him and someone else together taking out snipers at CT bridge room in Aztec.

Slayers – lionking – I thought he had retired from CS. Hadn’t seen much of him for a while. He used to screw people earlier when he was in DTA. (see the DTA video if you don’t believe me). Last I heard, he came, he played and he fucked titans / dta.

TiTaNs – asdf | sker – Probably, one of the best players in IIIT as of now. Excellent sniper and near perfect with pistols. Seriously, if you think that you snipe well, play him. Usually found at A-Banana in de_inferno.

TiTaNs – CyClops – A little out of touch now but at one point of time (read April-May last year) he was the most dangerous player with the AK. Used to wallbang the fk out of the sniper on CT bridge room in de_aztec. Also, he single handedly killed almost all of Bleed / ABC (I don’t remember which) at Felicity ’05 with a Steyr Aug.

TiTaNs – Sirius – The guy who rocks with the defender and the maverick. He just moves, shoots and hits your head. This guy is pretty aggressive. To take him out, you’d better wait.

TiTaNs – Rock – Once again, a little out of touch now. But earlier he was the sniper with the least reaction time and the highest accuracy. The reason for TiTaNs being so good was probably Rock and asdf sniping. Trust me, it was nearly impossible to take him out 1v1 when he was sniping.

TiTaNs – FRAG – The rifler of TiTaNs, the guy who used to be at A-Center if I remember correctly. Haven’t gone much 1v1 against him …

TiTaNs – googol – A slightly more defensive player. Mostly, whenever I played with / against him in Aztec and when were losing he’d say `Fall Back Team`.

TiTaNs – spawn – One of the other CS’ers who blog. Have only played against him recently and well, he does play well. Pretty much of an all-rounder (that means that he can snipe as well as rifle).

CSI – Slipstream – The guy who defined cs. Like butcher, he was the type of guy who’d win a match single-handedly and look good too. Played very well with all guns (even guns which most ppl think are crap – clarion).

CSI – xXx – The guy who organized the first CS tourney. He was nice and aggressive, unlike some of the extremely boring ppl who will save a ct pistol for 4 minutes. Very deadly with the mav, I remember him taking out four ppl at A in inferno. Chk out the replay of Jedi V CSI, amazing play by xXx.

CSI – Shrek – Haven’t played him much so cant write much.

CSI – space – koolnaal, this guy was deadly with clarion. Mostly, I remember him taking out three T’s in dust2 at A-Long in CSI v CeG. That was probably the defining moment when it became obvious that CSI were better prepared in that match.

CSI – saki – Now in TiTaNs, this guy was initially a sniper. Now he rocks with all guns. His sniping is very very accurate.

PlayboiHe was good at quake. He thought he’d be good at CS too. Initially when we were very green, he used to showoff sniping. (he was a pretty decent sniper). Check out the raskullz v TiTaNs video for a shot of playboy sniping rock straight in the a$$. That was hilarious :D.

gAMeSKP, whenever me and him played in the same team we’d help each other out a lot. I wonder why he quit.

SuckingSuckyAt one pt, he played very very well. But he was better known for kicking ppl arbitly and restarting the server whenever he lost and being a general pain in the ass.

P@inKi||erA staunch supporter of CeG. No further comments :D.

Bertie Wooster – One of the ppl who used to play CS in the beginning. President of the Dead People’s Club (ppl who die very fast and chat while the others are playing). I remember him and me having many conversations in cs_estate after dying within 20 seconds. I dunno why he quit.

Bloodline | Srikanth Cherla – He was the backbone of the aakash team. Played pretty well those days. One of the founding members of TiTaNs. Again, I wonder why he quit.

T3 – This guy plays with many arbitrary names. He plays reasonably well and is probably the only guy who scouts (in the sense he uses the scout). Just the other day, he headshot Mahesh with one. You should have seen Mahesh’s face. Lol.

AnonyBetter known for his shouting matches with cyclothymia, a proverbial pita. However, when he plays seriously, he plays pretty well.

Fauji | mossad – (sorry, I don’t remember any more names) – The guy who has seen the most CS videos. The guy who knows the most strategy. If there were commentators in CS he would be like Geoffery Boycott, immensely knowledgeable about the game.

Legend – The guy you’d see with a goddam smg (hey that rhymes !!). He will charge first, and die a heck of a lot.

GoonzanOne of the more defensive players. Has been known to play with shotguns and kill a lot of ppl.

noobieGyani_Tharwani, an allround player …

Mangla | Rahul_badmouse – (I forget his name), one of the two guys who has tried to play on a touchpad. He actually killed butcher with it in cs_office.

DesiArmyOK, me and him used to go 1v1. (and I used to loose : ( ). Sad aint it.

GrawlAnother member of aakash. I tell you, aakash was pretty strong then. Sadly, now it’s the bloody agnians.

Unpredictable – The linux bond. Actually tried to play CS from linux. Then switched to windows. Didn’t help much. The first time he bought an HE in cs_assault, at the end of the round, he threw it at me in the vent. When asked why, `I’d bought it, I wanted to use it`. Also known for smoking his own team’s sniper so that they cant kill the enemy.

BeegleNot the proverbial pooch I’d say. He got a lot of ppl pissed when he went roaming around for the bomb in a match against AOI I think.

Bah – A normal player, charges, dies. Plays ok with ak.

ArMMoRThe guy who gives up. He tried to learn CS. Then gave up. Tried again, gave up again. Plays occasionally.

kiran_dvl - this guy is immensely popular in the lab. Whenever he plays ppl shout lillieee ...

Now there are a lot more players in CS. I haven’t actually played against most of them a lot. It would be unfair if I was to try to write a description. I will however list them out …

Sid, KID, Mosagadu, WTF, N_b_R, Sinner, WooHoo, ^-^, B. Satish kumar, Tiger, Ironhide, Donkey, Axe, Orb,

I’d also like to apologize to ug2, I haven’t played much with them so I cant write about them. If someone from their batch would write I’d be glad to add it to this post.

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PS – Any factual errors or omissions are regretted mostly because I’m human and I make mistakes goddamit.

PS1 – If anyone has anything to say or I’ve missed out someone please send me a mail or post a comment, I’d be glad to add them.

PS2 – Pooh!! This took a heckuva long time.

PS3 – I hope I don’t get screwed in STS because of this.

PS4 - If you are angry or offended by this post, go ahead, write about it in the comments. Its good to let that stuff out. I dont want to be stalked and killed when I am 40 over some article I wrote in college that pissed someone off.

The CS Reporter

DISCLAIMER
This post has been written by a member of [CeG]. Therefore it may be biased towards / against [CeG]. In no way do my views reflect the views of [CeG]. [CeG] is in no way liable for any content on this blog. (Of course you can sue titans / slayers / dta or anyone else )

Counter Strike Today
Written By: The CS Reporter

over the past few days a lot of counter strike has been played. zombie zone mostly.

so, there have been some upheavals in the old order.

it all started with Titans losing to Slayers. Actually, I figured the result would be a slayers win. I did not estimate the magnitude of Titans loss. After winning 10-1 or 11-1 as CT they lost. I mean, they failed to win more than two rounds in dust2 as T. That my friends is an atrocity, a heinous crime.

Then slayers went on to beat DTA. Slayers rock …

Yesterday was [CeG] v Titans in de_inferno, [CeG]’s stronghold, where they beat the crap out of CSI, won very closely with DTA and won the finals against Titans. Some of you may remember the last time these two teams played. Titans lost. Of course that was when [CeG] was in almost peak form. This time around a member of [CeG] described it as “Shit Happens. “. “Shit Happens” is a very very scaled down version of what actually happened. [CeG] were running helter-skelter, with very little co-ordination. They were getting killed from front and back. Charges on A left them flashed and very very dead. Going through B was fked as well. Anyway after a 14-1 loss as T playing CT was pretty much pointless. All credit to Titans for kicking their ass. Hopefully, it will get them to wake up and practice.

Will be back with more Counter Strike News as and when it happens. Remember you read it first on Counter Strike Today.

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