Inebriated Ideas

by oBelIX

This post was composed on April 1 after one of those days when you get real sad news. I haven’t made any changes to any of the text. The only change was the title.

Normally, even the thought of writing “What I did today” in a blog post would send shivers down my spine. Today, however is special. It being April Fool’s day and all, so I thought, dear readers, I’d share with you a recent discovery of mine.

Editor’s note: This post may not make much sense. Apart from the usual distractions, there is a certain lightness to the way my fingers are flying on the keyboard, the bose headphones playing in high fidelity some good PInk Floyd and other yada yada which I will desist from mentioning here because I have taken the “Good night mats from the bedroom and Vishnu is sleeping without mosquito protection :”D)’

How to survive a kick in the nuts

On occasaion every guy has been kicked in the nuts. Whether literally or physically or metaphysically [Ed: TODO: what the heck does metaphysically mean anyway]. The secret to surviving all these is the saame. This information, of course is patent pending. So, if any of you weirdos goes and patents thsi before I do, I’m going to poke you in the eye with a finger wrapped in a little pepper.

Before I start on the remedy, I’d advise avoid getting kicked in the nuts at all. However, if you do get kicked in the giblets, the best thing to do is to shut your eyes. Stop the brain from feeling any further senses. Then, go to the nearest pub, down three shots of neat vodka and hope no serious damage has been done.

Editor’s note: My apologies to the lady readers of this blog but I am quite unawarae of the female equivalent of the feeling.

What to do when a hippopotamus is charging at you

Get out of the water. Hippopotamii are quite slow on land. :D. This PJ bought to you by the guys at the “Jammies for <something>” guys.

The mind

Advances in neuroscience have allowed the French to investigate the effects of eating maroon paste on the human mind. A popular theory is that Murphy’s laws become obsolete once 3 moles of maroon paste have been ingested in under three minutes.

The quest for quintessentially north indian sambhar

The astute amongst you, (this means you @mythalez) is probably cringing away at the title. Wondering what the heck the authro refers to when he talks about norht indian sambhar. Let it be known, for once and for all, there exists sucha  thing as the thing that was mentioned once in the title and once in the middle of the paragraph. This thing, the samae thing that was mentioned once in the title, once in the paragraph and once in the snetecnets before this sentence is actually not a figment of the author’s imagination but more of an eyesore that permeates the here an dthe now from the where and the then.

Nelly Furtado

I have no clue who Nelly Furtadao is. The name sounds funny, a tad nincompoopish (that phrase I have used before), and with my attention now divided betwen the muzak, the biography of Nelly and this post you can be damn sure that you made a mistake reading the words that acamae before the end of this sentence.

Sentences

HaH. i JUST PRESSED ctrl+v. i ALSO ENDED UP PRESSING CAPS+lOCK. Caps+lock pressed actually is an excellent way of typing. It is perhaps the most effieicnet way of instrumenting the way users use the SHIFT key on the keyboard. [Ed: Yes, I did press the SHIFT key while I typed in s-h-i-f-t].

The New Yeara

So far, so not so great. Naah. Pretty okay I guess.

Countr Strike

Witht he statet of the world, the importance of counter strike assumes epic proportions. IT is so damn important tha tI forget the big adjectives and use the small ones. Infact, playing computer games is so important that I will aabandon all pretext of spelling and askljsdfahskdhg sadjgh alsdofiusljdfhkasljdhriwueylikhjuskdjfh

10,000 People Maybe More

Some chap somewhere made a film called 300. THis has been widely recognized as a bad move. Had the film been called 10,000 something else might have happened.

I feel at this time like falling of my chair but as a testabment to the highlevels of motivation to finish this post as well as the temptaion of the packet of maaggi that Iplan to eat after thsi I will persist, persevere.

As, I run out of mental energy and give in to this … I think and therefore have thunked no mareo.

This next song appearas to be some banging. Remote banging if you know what I mean. I am sure I can sfafely assume you don’t so I’m going to elucidate [Ed: what does elucidate mean] damn messd up the the italics and typed the the twcice.

At this point, the only quetion that amakes sense is who let the dogs out.

Trying to type fast feels like no work at all. I bet I can type this entire sentence without making a mistake. And I won’t cheat, I promise, I do I do. No right-click and correcting using the spell checker, no backspace, no delete. Nothing. Nadaa.

Damn, I see the wavy red line, the frikkin wavey red line, and I wonder what impulsemakes me type frikkin instead of the more appropriate vernacular thata starts with a f and ends with a ck having a u in the middle somehwhre.

I will save this post now – somewhere so that it can remain asa a draft – maybe someday i will plug this out on to the word wide web 😀

Epilogue

I tire now. Is that even a sentence. This post seems to be a semi-coherent mess of thoughts. Ideas that permeate the voids of the

The songs played while this post was acomposed

1. Another brick in the wall

2. Cemeteries of London

3. Rock On

4. Emotional Attyachar (Rock Version)

5. I stopped counting right about now.